Confession

So today is my last day in Saclepea, tomorrow I am travelling back to Monrovia. Thought I should confess something to ease my guilt. My three weeks here, were suppose to bring positive change in messed up financial records. The reconciliation I was supposed to do was not simple but could be done with effort and devotion.

That’s what I failed to achieve. I had absolutely no devotion towards the mission term of reference and I did not work hard. Oops!! Sorry…. Couldn’t help it, mentally I was out of Liberia and was not interested in doing work. I was not that bad; I did influence the environment of the office and manage to finalize few out standing issues. But I could have put more effort.

One thing pissing me off is that instead of doing something I could of have done, I asked for external auditors mission, well off course I do not want to burn my ar*e in this fire. But this in not my personal trait, I could never think of leaving something open like that before.

May be it is the lesson of life that you can not always do what you are suppose to do. If I look back into Liberia’s two year, it has slowed me down. While I was a student, I never failed any subject, was not brilliant but manage to crawl slowly. And when ever I was not successful I use to push my self to the extreme to achieve that. But now giving up on things has become so easy that it has started to scare me.

I use to be a very strong and controlled person. I could easily keep my mind straight on what I wanted to be. Now I am easily distracted and can easily lose control of sight. Anyway, I tend to agree with Chiara, maybe we are becoming old.